Well, here I find myself at week four. I can’t believe it. It’s almost been a month since I’ve been here. And so much has changed.
Before I got here, I didn’t fully believe in God’s love, his love for me. Today, I can say with so much joy and happiness, that God loves me. I fully believe that he loves me and cares for me more than anyone ever has. I seriously smile every time I think of that. I had always let my past control me as well. It was something that I always let hold me back. That isn’t the case anymore. I am completely free from my past. I’m not saying that I won’t struggle with it anymore but it no longer holds me back from moving forward. There is a lot that I will have to deal with, but I don’t have to deal with it alone. God is always walking with me; he will catch me when I fall. Ahhh I love that!
This week we have the privilege of having Donna Jordan with us. She is amazing; hands down my favorite so far. She is from Canada and says eh a lot. I love it! She is speaking to us about hearing God’s voice. This is also something that I have struggled with. I could never distinguish his voice from my own or the enemies- I think that will always be a struggle, trying to hear his voice and plan for me rather than hearing my wants. God will show me his plan, it will not be on my time but his and it will be in his voice. Yesterday, I felt like I heard some of what he has planned for me. And that makes me so excited! I want God to confirm it though, I’ve asked for signs that this is his voice, and not just what I want to hear in my life. I just need to keep reminding myself that it is all in his time, everything is in his time not mine.
I am ready to hear what God has planned for my life. And I am ready to go where he sends me.
Yesterday was an amazing day of community. I had the best talk with JW, she is amazing and a wonderful strong hold and confidence in my life. We talked about the past, present, and future. It's such a blessing to have someone here I can confide in. Then last night we had apartment worship and prayer. A couple of the girls here (myself included) have had some horrible dreams and trouble sleeping. We prayed against any spiritual warfare that is plaguing our apartment. We then decided to sing and pray for each other. And it was so worth staying up past my bedtime (yes, I go to bed at 10. I am a grandma), we strengthened our community.
I have never been in a place where I am fully surrounded by God. Every aspect of my day is filled with God and his love and his voice. He provides in the craziest ways. I am also surrounded by a community of believers that love me, that want the highest best for me. I love my apartment; it is filled with an amazing community of beautiful women of God. I can't wait to see what God does through each one of them.
God is going to do great things today, I can't wait to encounter him!