A season of comparison.

There are times when I sit down to write a blog and it starts out fantastic but by the time I start to write about the deep topics, I falter. And tonight I realized that it's because I'm not meant to write about those things. Because there are times when I feel the words forming before I even comprehend them. That's how I know it's from God.

And tonight is one of those nights when the words just flow; a night where I'm writing what God wants me to. (I happen to love nights like these!!)

Tonight I met up with a dear friend from YWAM. We were in it together from the start and I thank God for her all the time. We spent a couple of hours in Panera (the best place everrrrr) catching up on what God has been doing in our lives and it was so refreshing. Through her stories I started to think about what has been happening in my own heart. And the theme of comparison kept bugging me.

I have been doing a bible study with some friends and we talked a little about comparison. A question came up like, "What have you been comparing yourself to lately?" something like that. Anyways, I wrote down the generic answer: looks, job, relationships, money, etc. But I wasn't getting at the core of it. I was floating on the surface.

It hit me tonight that I've been comparing myself to other people around me A LOT lately. So much so that I've been in tears over things that I don't have, that I can't do, and so on. It dawned on me: this is a HUGE way that Satan gets to me. He realizes that I may not be so confident in myself and he uses that to his advantage.

I see it in a lot of younger girls too. We are bombarded these days with beautiful pictures of celebrities, ads for weight loss programs, etc.; girls are constantly being told that they're not good enough unless they have the best clothes, perfect hair, and are dating all the perfect guys. (Just read about all the controversy surrounding Abercrombie. He flat out says they don't make clothes in XL and XXL because he doesn't like fat chicks. I'm sure there are girls hating themselves because of this! (Ps. if you are feeling bad about this, don't. He's not worth your time or tears. You are a beautiful child of God!!!))

And that is a lie! Lately, I have been buying into that lie. In fact, I've been telling myself those very lies. It's a really hard thing to realize. Because I could have been avoiding this hurt and those tears. I could have been enjoying life, yet I sit there and tell myself, "You're not pretty enough, you're fat, no one will love you unless you look like this, that picture of you looks horrible."

Honestly, that's been my thought process lately. And it wasn't until tonight that I realized that I'm the one doing that to myself. No one around me is telling me those things or making me feel that way, I'm choosing to feel that way. I bought into the lie of the enemy.

Comparison is a choice. You can sit there and tell yourself lie after lie about how you're not good enough compared to those around you. But it isn't until you're face to face with the reality that God loves YOU, that He chose you to be who you are, not anyone else, that you feel freedom. You can choose to be joyful in who you are.

I am choosing to rejoice in the fact that I'm not perfect! My hair gets super frizzy in this humidity (seriously though, super curls) and instead of telling myself that it looks horrible, I am going to choose to rejoice in the fact that I have curls!! I am not a size 0 and I will choose to rejoice in that instead of bringing myself down!
(This would be a great transition into self worth and I want to talk about that but it's late and this post is pretty long already so I'll save that for a next time : ) )

Until then, I'll say this: To whoever is reading this- you, yes you, are chosen by God. You are loved. You are precious. You are beautiful. God has created you and loves you with an everlasting love. He created you and has a perfect plan for your life that no one else can fulfill that. I think we all (myself included) need to start looking at ourselves how God sees us and not how the world sees us. We also need to start searching for HIS plan for our life- not the world's, the enemy's or even our own plan. Rest in the fact that you are beautiful, precious, amazing, worthy, and a child of God. And wow, does He have an amazing plan for your life.

And trust me, I'm reading those words and telling myself the same things. I am choosing this day to start rejoicing in who I am and who God created me to be. This season of comparison is over.

As always, it's all for Him,
Hannah

Doubt and love.

Of course its 11:30 and I'm still awake. And what do I do? I read my old blog. Not this blog but my old, old blog. It was the blog I started my freshmen year of college. I couldn't read through most of it (let's be honest here, I was dramatic back in the day) because I don't recognize that person anymore.

I cringed as I read some of the posts. I so badly wanted to be loved, to be seen; I still do, don't get me wrong. I think in every person there is a want and need to be loved. But I took it farther than that. It was so apparent in my writing that I wasn't happy with who I was. I didn't believe I was worthy of love so I tried to put myself in situations where people would need to prove it to me. And that was wrong. I realize that now. Because instead of people working harder to prove their love, they gave up. They walked away and I was left hurt. I look back on those times and wonder what it felt like to be the other person, trying so hard to get through to me.

I had so many walls around me. I placed hurdles, barriers, traps, anything to keep people from knowing who I was and what I truly believed. I didn't think anyone would like me if they truly knew me. So I put up a fight against anyone who tried to love me.

Alas, God broke those barriers in Germany. He started to show me what love and acceptance actually looked like. (And I know, deep down, that I had acceptance and love before I went to YWAM but it wasn't until then that I experienced HIS love and acceptance. (And I just used the word acceptance 5 times. Okay maybe 3))

God's love is like no other. It is all consuming, unbelievable, life changing, and absolutely glorious. I don't think I will ever truly understand how much He loves me but to get a glimpse of His love is amazing. There was one day in Thailand when I was angry at God. I didn't understand why I still had these doubts about His love and His plan for me. Just then, JM walks over and starts hugging me. I thought she was laughing but she was crying. She looked at me and said "He loves you. He loves you. He loves you. God loves you so much."

Every time I think of that day I want to cry (happy tears!). The concept of God using other people to talk to me was new when I started YWAM. But He grew my faith in trusting His voice.

He used JM again to say the same thing. I was doubting God in my life a couple months after I was home and I was sharing some of those frustrations with her and again she said "He loves you. You are beautiful and He loves you so much."

It astounds me that God would use my doubt to show up in the greatest ways. There are some days when I want to throw in the towel and run away from my life. There are some days when I don't think anyone loves me, let alone likes me. But God picks that towel up and shows me that HE, the creator of the universe, loves me.

When those barriers finally came down, I saw things in a completely different way. Before I left for YWAM, chances are if you asked me how I was, I would lie. I would tell you I'm fine but only to see if you loved me enough to push that. Because I really wasn't okay. Now if you ask me how I am, get ready, because I will be honest. I have found honesty to be freeing. I thought that it would push people away, but it actually brings them closer. There is great joy is sharing your struggles and life with other people. I think another source of joy you can experience is when you find the love of our Father. When He speaks to you and shows you His love and affection for you.

God loves me. This is and will always be mind blowing to me!
Hannah

Its been awhile.

I don't even really know what I've done these past months. A lot of seeing people, sharing stories, searching for jobs, etc. Things have changed. I've changed. I guess that was to be expected. In Germany, God blew my mind with truths from Him, strong friendships, and a community unlike any other. 

But I had to leave that. I had to leave the comfortableness of Germany and that community. And at that time, I had plans to go back. I was going to step into a life of missions. And then I got home.

I realized that that isn't where God wants me, at least for this time in my life. I really had no peace about going back and really felt like God wanted me here in Michigan. And I still do.

In these past two months God has blessed me with new friends and renewed friendships with old ones, community, and a little direction in my life. I'm a nanny for a beautiful family, saving for school in the winter, and getting to know God in new ways.

Home is good. God is better.

Michigan Living.

Home. 

It still blows my mind that I've been home for 2 weeks. After 24 hours of travel, I made it back to the mitten; after saying some really tough goodbyes, I was home again. God blessed me with seven months full of revelation from Him, full of love. Going to Herrnhut was the best decision I have made and I have no regrets. 

But those seven months had to come to an end. And now I'm back home. 

These past 2 weeks have been filled with family, friends, and a lot of hugs. I love seeing people for the first time in seven months; Those moments have been my favorite. But even those moments are coming to an end. 

And it's OK. Things have to end at some point or another. It's just something that has to happen. But there are a lot of things to look forward to. There's going to be some exciting reunions in the future, continued revelation from Him, and big steps to come. 

I'll keep you updated on what's to come in the future and as always your prayers and support are appreciated! 

With love,

Hannah

And as always, I'm free for coffee or whatever- I love sharing my stories! :)

The Last For Now.

Well, I wrote out a blog post probably a month ago but didn't get the chance to post it. Why you ask? Oh yeah, my computer crashed. Thanks computer, love you too.

My last post left off with a month left of outreach. In my unfinished blog post, I couldn't really find the words to describe the last month. And I still can't. That month was filled with so much beauty and so much of God, it still blows my mind. God did amazing things through me and our team that last month. There was so much growth in everyone and in me especially. I am so thankful for that time in Thailand. I don't know if I'll ever be able to write out my thoughts from that last month but I'll try. For now, you can just ask me!

We got back to Herrnhut around a month ago. It's been so great to be back. I loved seeing everyone again and hearing about all their outreaches. It was amazing to see how God worked through every team, all the glory goes to Him!

We spent the next two weeks with speakers and the following week on tour. My team and I went to Dillingen, Germany which is in Bavaria. The week was spent with the youth, on the streets, doing art shows, speaking about outreaches, and cake. And some more cake. Oh, and did I mention the cake? And the coffee. Can't forget the coffee. It was a beautiful week filled with God's providence and love. I pray that God blesses that town, He has amazing things planned!

And that brings me to now. I graduated from Marriage of the Arts DTS last night, said some goodbyes, and packed up my life. It's a weird place to be in. I can't believe in 4 days I will be on a plane bound for Grand Rapids, Michigan.

These next four days are going to be some of the best and worst of this year I'm sure. I have to say goodbye to some of my best friends, my amazing mentor, and to the place that I've called home for the past 7 months. But I also get to spend those 4 days with my best friends, staying up late, talking about the future, and listening to God and what He has for me.

I'll be back on this blog once I get home but this is my last post from Germany. It's been grand!

To the Mitten- I'll see ya in 4 days!

Shrimp.

Thursday we were able to travel to Laos; it’s about 45 minutes away from Mai Sai. That is also where the Golden Triangle is located. It’s the point when Laos, Burma/Myanmar, and Thailand meet. It’s a big thing in Asia. We rode a boat across the Mae Kong River and spent an hour in Laos. As I walked I prayed for the country and the people, just asking God to bless every visitor that came there. That night we went over to some of our contacts friend’s house. They made traditional Burmese food for us and we played games with them. It was so much fun to hang out with them, Thai and Burmese people are amazing.

And we come to what I like to call shrimp on shrimp on shrimp day. AKA the day that we met with Max! That morning as a team we went to hang out with the street kids again. We planned some games and songs for them and were excited to spent time with them again. The first game we played was a new one to me. You sit in a circle and pass a bottle of powder around as someone plays music. If the music stops and you’re holding the bottle, the person who is sitting next to you gets to put the powder all over your face. I say we play this at our next family event :) It was a lot of fun- the kids loved it!

After we were done there WR, PAL, and I went to the gym to meet Max. Unfortunately his girlfriend wasn’t able to come with us but his friend Paul did. We waited for 15 minutes as Paul went to get his car and were shocked when he arrived. Both WR and I were expecting some small Thai car but here comes a 2011 Ford 4X4 truck. It was amazing. Trust me, when the only vehicle you’ve ridden in the past 5 months is a beat up white van, this is luxury. Max told us that we were going to his friends restaurant and that’d it’d be about 30 minutes outside of Mae Sai. WR and I were both worried that we wouldn’t be able to afford it (we get 50 Baht per meal) but we were trusting in God.

We weren't sure where we were going and when Paul turned off into a dodgy side street we got a little nervous but were again trusting in God. And God sure did bless us that day. We pulled into this cute restaurant on a little lake with walkways and tables on the lake. It was beautiful. We sat down and Paul and Max ordered for us. We talked and laughed with them while the food was prepared. It was a lot of fun hanging out with people outside our team. We took some pictures together and then the food came out.

And this is where the shrimp on shrimp on shrimp part comes in. The first dish was shrimp with noodles. The second was shrimp and fried rice. The third was spicy shrimp soup. The fourth was shrimp and yellow curry. And the fifth and final dish was deep fried shrimp with basil. Most of you know that I’m kind of a picky eater. BUT! I tried everything. PR you would have loved it all. I really enjoyed the deep fried shrimp with basil. The whole meal was amazing though! And we were blessed by Paul and Max- they ended up paying for everything.

After lunch they took us up to the scorpion temple that overlooks all of Mae Sai and into Burma. It was cool to be there with people who could explain what everything was and what it meant. We made plans that afternoon to go to a temple in Chiang Rai that Sunday. WR and I were excited to be able to hang out with them again.

Saturday we went to play with the street kids again and spend our last day just hanging out with them. We played some games, colored with them, and had lunch there too. It was good to see them once more before we left. Those kids are beautiful, I pray that God blesses them as they grow up. That afternoon MP and I went to prepare a drama for the church service we were participating in. We wrote a drama that was centered on a story that MP heard when she was a kid that brought her to believe.

Unfortunately when we preformed that same drama it didn’t go too well. I lost my place at one point and accidently said crap in church. Oh goodness, it was so bad. And then CH and PF had a laugh attack at the end of the drama. They were able to keep it together and finish out but once they stepped out of the building they cracked up. I like to refer to that day at Church fail. We all had to keep reminding ourselves that God is laughing with us and that it’s ok that things didn’t go perfect, we were able to get our messages across. AND CNB did an amazing job with the message. His mom would have been so proud!

That afternoon WR, PAL, and I went to the temple in Chiang Rai with Paul and Max. This temple was different than all the other ones we went to. Most of the the time temples are red and gold. This one was pure white. It was beautiful. There was glass mosaic over the whole temple, it was amazing. Then Paul took us to the University he graduated from. It too was beautiful. Nothing like Universities in America! It was a fun afternoon!

Monday closed out our time in Mae Sai. We had that day to say our goodbye and end out time in the city. I spent the morning with Roger and his friend Robert. I didn’t really say a lot but I was constantly praying for them and people that passed. At the end of my time with them I was able to pray for them, and granted they were drunk, it was still good. I pray that God pulls them closer every day.

We had the opportunity to spend time with Brandon and his wife and her family. They invited us over for dinner. It was another amazing meal. Burmese people really know how to cook. We as a team had the opportunity to pray for Brandon and Am. It was really hard saying goodbye to them. They are such beautiful people and have such a love for the people of Mae Sai. God is doing amazing things in their lives.

And then that night I found out that we had to do another border run. That one was going to have be at 630 in the morning. Meaning we had to be up by 530 and walking by 6. And this girl didn’t wake up until 6. But we still made it there in time. We walked in and walked right out. After we got back to our hotel we had breakfast and headed to the bus station. It was the best ride ever back to Chiang Mai. We had 8 VIP seats and my name got picked :) it was so great!

I have more to update but I’ll wait till later, this post is long enough :)

Love!

A New City.

Wednesday we woke up and started our day with worship and devotions as usual. It’s so different being in a small team- I love it though! We then went to the bus station and boarded our bus for Mae Sai, Thailand- the northern most part of Thailand. That night we got dinner and walked around a bit but then went to bed because we were exhausted.

Thursday we had to do a border run. Since Myanmar is a 5 to 10 minute walk from our hotel and because our visas were expired, we had the opportunity to go there for the day. It is amazing to me how two cities can be so different when they’re yards apart from each other. We got the chance to walk around and pray for the city. TB and I sat at a café and found it hard to pray. There was something different about that city. Not necessarily bad but just different.

Friday was an open ministry day. CB, TB, and MP and I went out as a group; we prayed into what God had for us and we didn’t get anyone specific to find so we just walked. And walked and walked some more. After lunch we bought some coke and cookies from the 7/11 to bless people with. It was harder than you think to find people to bless. We had maybe 5 people say no. CB and MP gave some to taxi drivers and we gave the rest to a man we met while getting ice cream. He just kept laughing at us. But it wasn’t a cruel laughing; we described it as Holy Spirit laughs. It was great.

Saturday we woke up to rain!!! I was one happy girl that morning/all day. I haven’t been in rain since Germany and I’ve missed it so much. Since it was a dreary (or beautiful in my opinion) day we watched some documentaries on Burma/Myanmar. They were very interesting because I didn’t know much about the country or the civil war it’s experiencing. It was really eye opening.

As usual, we had Sunday off. But unlike other days off I didn’t have a Starbucks to go to :( Instead I hung out at the room and then walked with MP to get pineapple for lunch. Pineapple is everywhere around here and SO good. After that we girls watched The Proposal. And then later that night we watched Accepted. Sometimes it’s really nice to take a break and watch a movie.

And here begins weeks 5. It is crazy to me that it’s already been 5 weeks that I’ve been in Thailand. I keep having these moments where I stop and look around and say. “Yup, I’m in Thailand.” So good!

This week began with a day to go out again and meet people. This time CB, JT, and JS and I went out. We first went to a café we had seen earlier that week and just hung out and drank coffee. Then we walked to the border of Myanmar and walked around the market. There are markets everywhere- I love it. TB had told us of a Hotel where our contact went to hang out with people and just talk with the guys there so we walked that way. Right away one of the men started talking to us. We found out his name was Roger and he has been in Thailand for 30 years, originally from Montana. He sat down with us and talked about his family back home and his work here. He explained what he knew about the situation in Myanmar and his schooling. It was really cool hearing someone’s story. We’re planning on going back there and getting to know him more.

Tuesday we worked with a ministry that helps out street kids. The first part of the morning we played with the kids; we taught them duck, duck, goose and then sang a song with them. The kids are so beautiful, most of them being Burmese. The rest of the morning we stripped paint off the walls and ceilings on the top floors. It was actually a lot of fun. We had lunch that day at a restaurant on the border of Thailand and Myanmar. They had amazing food! They also had a 7 floor look out where you could see Mai Sai and Burma. It was cool to see both Thailand and Burma and pray for the two countries.

After we spent some time up there we had another afternoon of open ministry. MP, JS, and I walked around Mae Sai and saw Roger again. We didn’t get the opportunity to talk with him but I think it was good that we let him know that we’re still thinking of him. As we walked we prayed for the country and the people we saw. I love spending days in prayer.

Wednesday I was able to help out with a local kindergarten/day care center. I helped 15 or so kids with their ABC’s and 123’s. I forgot how energetic kindergarten kids were. It was fun to help them write and see the smiles when I encouraged them when they got it right. It was really hard because of the language barrier though. I kept thinking of how much I would love to be a teacher and to see the kids grow everyday into what God has for them.

That afternoon WR and I went to the gym to talk with some guys that she met there. We swam and sat in the sun for a bit because the trainer wasn’t there yet. While we dried off we prayed for the day and what was to come. When Max, the trainer, got there we had him help us with our exercises. It was such a good work out- and it was fun to talk with Max even though there was a major language barrier. After swimming again we had the chance to ask if Max and his girlfriend wanted to have dinner with us. And again, it was hard to talk because of the language barrier, but we finally got our question across and he said yes to lunch.

And here is where I end. I have the rest of our time in Mae Sai written out but for the sake of reading I’ll put this blog up into two parts. The second will be here soon!

Love you all,

Hannah

Ministry.

So I’m going to jump in right where I left off last time.

We started our Ministry work here in Thailand. Myself along with 5 other people started working with an orphanage. It was the best decision I could have ever made; well, that God ever made. Those children are so beautiful. There are 8 children that we worked with every day. They all speak English and have been brought up in a Christian house hold. They had time off of school so our days were filled with games, laughter, and a lot of playing tag.

On Friday, we spent working on a dance for their Church. BMK is amazing amd made up a simple but great dance for them to perform at their New Years Eve party at their church. A couple of us went to watch it that Saturday night. We had grilled meat and sticky rice (I have developed a love for sticky rice!!) and had a lot of fun playing with the children. It was fun to spend time with the kids outside of their house. After the kids performed their dance our translator, Peng, and I went to the city center to try and find the rest of our team. I really wanted to bring in the New Year with my new family. We first found part of our group doing ministry and then the second part that was out found us 5 minutes later. It was the best New Years ever. There were fireworks going off everywhere, lanterns filled the sky, and a lot of laughter. It was the perfect way to start the new year- simply magical.

Sunday we had another day off and I spent the day at Starbucks (obvi) and in the night market. God is using my time at Starbucks to talk to me a lot lately and I love it.
On Monday our school leaders joined us here in Thailand. I was really excited to have them come meet us; I didn’t really know either of them so it was fun to be able to get to know them a little more. The rest of the week was filled yet again with tag, movies, and games with the kids. Sadly, they had to go to school on Wednesday. On Tuesday we ended our day with them playing soccer. Most of you who know me know I am sports challenged. And yet, I was the goalie and blocked every shot. I was so proud of myself! Since the kids were in school, Wednesday and Thursday we helped out with practical work around the house. We cleaned the walls, filled the sand box, painted furniture, and weeded their garden. It was nice to be able to practically help them out when they couldn’t do it themselves.

Friday we spent the day as a team praying for the kids and the home. It was really nice to be able to intercede for them and pray for their future. We also planned an activity for Saturday because it was our last day with them. And it was so much fun! One of my teammates has a Polaroid camera so we asked him to come with us to take pictures of the kids. They loveeeed him. Saturday morning we girls watched the kids climb on him, run after him, and punch him- It was so entertaining. After lunch we started our project- time capsules. We decorated boxes and added Polaroids of each of the kids, toys, clothes, and letters we wrote for them. It was so fun to watch them get involved and excited for their boxes. We told them they couldn’t open it until they were 18 and many of them cried, “I’m 18 now!” It was the perfect way to end our ministry with them.

Sunday was another good day spent in Starbucks! I spent some time alone with God and then my friend from the orphanage met up with me and we walked around the market. It was a good afternoon spent here in Thailand.

Monday we had the opportunity to pray again for our ministries as finished our time with them. I love those kids so much; I pray that God uses them every day for his purpose and that they are open to it. We had team time Monday night because Tuesday we are splitting up. My plans were to go to Cambodia but through a process and a lot of talking I changed teams. I am now on the Thailand team. God has been giving me a heart for this country and I’m excited to serve Him here. We are not quite sure what is happening but I’m excited to see what He has in store for my team.

So here I sit, ready for what is to come next. My team is splitting up tonight and that makes me sad but I know that God has AMAZING things planned for each person. I’m not sure what the internet situation is going to be like these next two weeks but I’ll try to update when I can.

I love you all,

Hannah

Prayer requests: We need finances. God has provided already in crazy ways and we know that He will continue to provide. But if y’all could pray for that, it’d be great :)

A Christmas Like No Other

One thing before I start- I’m currently sitting outside on the top floor of a 3 story Starbucks in the center of Chiang Mai city plaza. I am one happy girl.

As I mentioned in my last blog post I had the opportunity to spend the weekend, and Christmas, in a village. This village is completely Buddhist and my team and I had the privilege of presenting the story of Jesus’ birth to them for the first time- it was such an honor.

Friday morning we all packed up and set out to the village. But first I was able to Skype with my family. It was hard knowing that I wouldn’t be there to spend Christmas with them- they all looked so cute and it made me miss them a lot. But I had to keep reminding myself that it’s just one Christmas. After a 3 hour car ride we made it to the village. We met our host mom and settled in. I slept next to BMK and I must say that girl is crazy (in the best way possible). I love her to death; we had so much fun together the whole weekend.

Friday night we had worship as a team and I got really frustrated with myself and with God. I asked Him to give me a revelation of His love; I really wanted to know that He loved me. And then I got so mad that He wasn’t telling me His plan for my life. I am such a planner and I want to know what my future holds so I continually worry about it. Awhile after I told that to God, JM walked over to me and started giving me a hug and it sounded like she was laughing. I asked her why she was laughing and she said that she was crying. And she proceeded to say over and over “He loves you. He loves you. He loves you.” And of course, I started crying; a lot. She then said, “He has such a beautiful plan for you. Stop worrying. He has a plan.” God is so amazing. All the time.

On Saturday morning we were able to work in the rice fields. We didn’t realize until we got there that women don’t work so most of the girls sat in hut and prayed over the village. But not me :) Our job was to repair the walkways in between each field. Needless to say it was a very muddy job. I loved it! I had so much fun playing in the mud and spending time with my friends... And I only fell twice!

That afternoon BMK and I took a nap and when I woke up I felt sick. While the rest of the team practiced our Christmas program I continued to take a nap. I felt a little better and had dinner with the team. That night I realized that it was Christmas Eve and as some of you know, I’m ALWAYS sick on Christmas Eve, in some form.

And then Christmas! Oh man, it did not feel like Christmas. But we did have a Christmas miracle. The house I stayed at had 12 little piglets in the morning! We were so excited for our mom; they were adorable! After hanging out with the piglets, we cleaned up one of the houses in the village and spent the rest of the afternoon playing with the kids.

Those kids, man, they stole my heart. There is one little girl there, Praywah, who is beautiful. She seriously made my heart so happy every time she hugged me. I pray for her all the time, that she have an opportunity for education and a good life, that’s all I want for her. The boys were precious too. I brought coloring books with me from the States and at first they didn’t want to color but by the end of the afternoon they were all coloring.

We practiced again that afternoon, had dinner, and then had a Christmas celebration as a team. That afternoon some of us went to the 7/11 in town and got some treats to share. I was so happy to be together as a family with Christmas music, enjoying the day. It was a great way to end the night.

Monday we again went to the fields, this time one closer to our home. And once again, we didn’t do much. I spent some time praying for the fields and the village. It was a nice morning. We had our final practice for that night after lunch. It brought me back to practicing for Church Christmas programs. :) TB and I hung out after practice and had a good talk on the basketball court. I am so glad that she is our team leader- she is so wonderful!

After dinner we all gathered on the basketball court, ready to present our final product. It was kind of an awkward situation because there had been a death in the village that day so we couldn’t be too loud while playing with the kids and such. We played duck duck goose with the kids and it was hilarious! They were getting so sassy with each other and us; it was adorable. Our presentation of the Christmas story went really well! It was so exciting to be a part of; this was the first time these people had heard of this story!

It was hard saying goodbye to the kids that night; I don’t think they realized that we were leaving. I started crying when thinking of leaving Praywah. But I just kept praying that God protect her and her family; and all the kids for that fact. God has such beautiful plans for each one of them; I’m so excited to see where He takes them all.

So Monday we spent the day packing and saying our goodbyes. I was sad to leave but I knew that it was time to get into ministry in the city. I’m excited to start working with the orphanage.

And here is where I leave you, excited to spend the next few hours with a book and sunshine.
I love you all, happy holidays from Thailand!
Hannah

Bus Rides.

I decided that the easiest thing to do is to write out day by day what I’m doing and then post it on Sunday. Sound good? Good.

Monday we had another day of flood relief. I was really excited again because I love practically helping people (I think I said in my last post too). We split into teams again and were on our way. My team and I went to an elderly man’s house in Bangkok. The water line in his house was as tall as me. The water had been there for 45 days and just left last week Tuesday. It still blows my mind that there was that much water all around the city for that long. All of this man’s possessions were ruined on the first floor. It was a mess (I will post picture soon). BH and I worked in the backyard cleaning up trash. It was really hard at one point when we found a little boy’s shoes. It was heartbreaking to think of little children being so affected by this flood.

The rest of the day the whole team worked on the inside of the house, cleaning everything out and then scrubbing the walls and floors. When we left, the house looked amazing! I will get before and after pictures so y’all can see the transformation. And this was just one day of work. It’s amazing what you can do with 10 people and some hard work!

Tuesday was kind of a chill day again. We spent the morning packing up and cleaning our rooms. After lunch we started to plan our Christmas program that we’re going to put on. I kept thinking back to Church Christmas programs and how much I disliked being in them. This year will be different though, I’m really excited. We closed our time in Bangkok with prayer and worship. We were so blessed to have a week in that city. I pray that God reaches more and more people through the people we worked with.

Then Tuesday night we left Bangkok to go north. The ride was 12 hours long on a bus and I can honestly say I would LOVE to take that bus again. This was no ordinary bus my friends. We had reclining seats, foot rests, chicken for dinner, coke, MASSAGES IN THE SEATS, pillows, blankets, and so much more. And all for the low, low price of 15 euro a person. I am so excited to go back to Bangkok :)

The only downside to that is that we got to Chang Mai in the morning. Luckily we had until 12 to sleep. We then had lunch and orientation at a University Café that we’re going to work with. I am really excited to see what God is going to do through these people.

Ok, so I know that I said I would write everyday and then post my blog on Sunday but this week will be an exception. We’re going to stay in a village until Tuesday next week so I won’t have my computer to write while I’m there but I’m taking my journal. I will make a special blog post for that and leave this one here.

I miss you all so much. It’s hard being away during Christmas time but I need to keep reminding myself that this is such a beautiful way to spend my Christmas, glorifying God with my YWAM family.

I love you all,

Hannah

Welcome to Thailand.

After over 24 hours of traveling, I am finally in Thailand. It’s crazy to me that I’m actually here. It doesn’t feel like it at all!

So we left Monday morning. (I had to say goodbye to EB and CK and I’m so proud of myself that I didn’t cry!) We then took a train to Munich where we departed for Dubai! You should all go Google picture of Dubai- it’s insane! Sadly we didn’t have a chance to go explore outside of the airport but I was content to stay and rest.

TANGENT: I decided I have a love/hate relationship with flying. There are times (mostly when I fly during the day) that I LOVE flying; and I know that I love it because of the movies I get to watch. I watched Crazy, Stupid, Love (part of it at least), The Help, and The Glee movie. And then there are times where I HATE flying. And those times are when I fly at night. I hate having to sit between people that you don’t know too well and trying to sleep, it’s the worst. The first flight to Dubai was during the night and the flight to Bangkok was during the day. Needless to say, I loved the flight to Bangkok. And another wonderful thing about flying is the games you get to play. I flew with 6 other people on Emirates airline. Everyone should go Google Emirates airline to see how legit they are.

Back to Tuesday night: Thankfully everyone got through security and got their luggage. We then drove 30 minutes to where we would be staying for the next week; we literally road in the back of pickups- on the highway. It was so fun. We were all freaking out and so excited, it was the perfect way to travel through Bangkok.

After a wonderful night’s sleep, we started out our Wednesday morning with orientation. It’s so interesting to discover another culture besides your own. Asian culture is so different that western culture but it’s so beautiful at the same time.

For lunch we had our first Thai meal. PR- here is where you start reading about all the food I have eaten :) And don’t worry, I’m trying everything. I had cashew chicken and red curry chicken. And I actually enjoyed it. (for those of you who don’t know, I do not enjoy Asian Cuisine) I am promising you all now that I will try what is in front of me.

After lunch our team went on a scavenger hunt around the area. One of the things we needed to find was fruit and desserts that we had never had before. My team and I got Mangos, Dragon Fruit, and this brightly colored dessert. And for the record, we didn’t know the mango was a mango; it was green so we thought we had never had it before but then we were told it was just unripe! The Dragon Fruit was good, a little tasteless but still good! The brightly colored dessert honestly tasted like I was eating strips of flower petals dipped in sugar. BMK loved it; me, not so much. Another team brought back a bag full of fried crickets. It was hilarious watching everyone eat them. (no, I did not eat one) I have a feeling that I will be trying a lot of new things on this trip. And not just new things, gross things.

Thursday was a beautiful day. My team and I went on a prayer walk through Bangkok. We had certain landmarks that we went to see and pray for (picture coming soon, promise). I feel like after Thursday I have now taken all forms of travel in Thailand. We took a bus another place in Bangkok, I honestly have no idea where, and then took a train to a boat tour. It was a lot of fun being able to ride down a river that runs through the city. There were temples all around, it was breath taking.

Our first stop was Wat Po and The Reclining Buddha. Wat Po is a beautiful compound that has multiple towers, chapels, and The Reclining Buddha which is its shining glory. This Buddha is 46 meters long. It is HUGE. It’s crazy to me that someone (more like a lot of people) would make something like this. And I know they believe that their god is the true god but it still blows my mind that someone would dedicate themselves to all of the intricacy involved in this compound.

Our second stop (after lunch!) was Wat Saket and the Temple of the Golden Mount. After climbing 318 steps to the top we walked around and were able to take in the city of Bangkok. It was amazing to stand on top of that hill and see all that God has made. Sadly this was our last stop due to transportation problems. But all in all, it was a beautiful day to see all that God has planned for this city. God loves this city so much; all He wants is to have them love Him back. I know that He will win their hearts; it’s all a matter of His time.

Thursday night I stayed up late talking with BMK and AB. I love being around people with whom I can have meaningful conversations with all the time. I have been blessed with such an amazing team!

Friday we had the opportunity to spend the day doing some practical work by helping out with flood relief. I was really excited about this because I love psychically helping those in need that can’t afford to do it themselves. We have so much to offer; if we just step back out of ourselves to sacrifice a part of our day, our worlds will start to change. We split up into two teams and my team went to help an elderly couple that couldn’t afford the money to clean up after the flood.

I didn’t really know what to expect when I got there. I have helped with Katrina relief in grade 10 but that was awhile after Katrina hit. It was such an honor to be able to help contribute to the cause so early after it happened. We worked on cleaning out their porch area first. There are pallets, furniture, and random things all over the place. Not to mention the inch or so of standing water mixed with mud. The morning before lunch was spent taking out all the mud and cleaning the floor and the walls. It was so exciting to see how different and clean it was.

We had lunch prepared for us which was such a blessing. The woman we were helping prepared chicken with rice and sea food. And yeah, I ate the chicken and rice :) I’m just not a fan of the sea food. But it was a wonderful meal none the less.

The afternoon was spent scrubbing the walls inside and all around cleaning up their house. The top half of the wall was white and the bottom half was stained brown from the flood waters. It was crazy to be able to see that line- that is how high the waters were. I couldn’t imagine waking up to half my house filled with water. The flood destroyed everything for some people; I couldn’t begin to imagine that. All of it really makes me thankful for the home that I have back in the mitten.

At the end of the day we had the opportunity to pray for the couple that we helped. Their pastor was there to help us as well. They were so happy and thankful for the work that we did. And it literally only took us a day. Imagine if groups from all over came and helped clean one house, one day. There would be so many grateful people in Bangkok.

Today (Saturday) we had the opportunity to go do ministry on the streets. A group of us decided to go to a gas station because someone got a vision of one. We took the bus and went to a gas station and played music for a while and then we noticed a group of young guys playing guitar so we went over and played with them. They didn’t speak any English so we just sat with them and played music. We’re pretty sure they were just laughing at us the whole time but we still had fun :)

After that we took another bus to a mall and played music outside for awhile. We didn’t have anybody come up and talk to us but it was nice to just play music. I prayed for people as they walked by and such but nothing big happened.

BMK, BMH, AB, and our translator Pang went into the mall to shop for awhile after that. Yes, we shopped. And it was GREAT. They have a movie theater at the mall (this mall is 5 stories tall) so we decided to go back tomorrow on our day off and see the new Twilight movie. I cannot wait! We decided to make it out Christmas present to ourselves :)

So Monday we will do more flood relief and then we will travel north. I cannot wait to play with a child, that’s all I have wanted since I got here!

Prayer requests: Our team is still in need of money. If anyone feels led to donate let me know!

I love you all!!
Hannah

It's official.

It's the worst when you have to pack up the room you've been living in for the past 3 months. And what's worse is leaving the people you love with all your heart.

This is what I've been going through the past week. Outreach is here. Finally! This week has been full of preparations for our trips. We have packed up our rooms, finished our art tracks, and started to say our goodbyes. My team spent 24 hours in pray in preparation for our trip as well. It was a great way for us to join together and seek after God's heart for Cambodia, Thailand, and Bangladesh.

So, the final part in what was keeping me from leaving for Thailand was my visa. And praise God I finally got it yesterday! So I officially leave Monday for Thailand! I don't know how much internet access I will have while we are there but I am going to try to update as much as I can.

Prayers and encouragement is very much appreciated!

I love you all, see you in 4 months!!

Hannah

Another iPod

Here starts week 10- I only have 3 weeks until I leave for outreach. That just blows my mind. Time has flown by lately!

In my last blog post I talked about our generosity day. Another gift God blessed me with was a trip to Prague, Czech Republic. CS told me that she felt like God was telling her to bless me with a trip somewhere that weekend and said they had an extra seat if I wanted to go to Prague with them. And of course, I said yes (who wouldn’t?!). It was an amazing day- a very long, but extraordinary day. Everyone should go Google pictures of Prague right now to see how beautiful it is. I was blessed so much that weekend- not only with the trip itself but with a French press (I have been wanting one for ages!) which is AWESOME. Ahhh, such a wonderful day!

The last three weeks we have had speakers on worldview, minding the gap, and principles of outreach. Tim spoke on minding the gap. All around us there are gaps- gaps between cultures, people groups, and communities. It’s our job as Christians to mind those gaps. It was amazing to hear that put in a different perspective. Sean spoke on the principles of outreach which was really informative and practical- it all comes back to abiding in Christ. If you abide in Christ, everything else will come together.

I guess I should update everyone on photography- that is a huge part of my time here. First off- I’m sorry that I haven’t uploaded many pictures- we do not have a good internet connection here and I have limited internet time. I am taking pictures- I promise. We have assignments every two weeks and they remind me SO much of what I had to do in Photography 101. That has been a struggle. I haven’t been very inspired by those assignments. But, I have been very proud of my pictures. And I will post them soon!

I have been missing home a lot lately; mostly my family. I talk about my cousin’s kids a lot and not being with them is one of the hardest things about this trip. KN posted pictures of them on Halloween and I wanted to cry! They are precious and they look SO much older. It’s hard being so far away when they are growing up so fast! I know that I’m supposed to be here, but it doesn’t make being away any easier. KN and SA- make sure they don’t forget me! And my parents; oh man, I have been missing them a lot too. I got closer to my mom this summer and it was really hard to leave her. And then I hear about all the fun things she’s doing with my sister and that makes me even more sad. BUT, I know that it will be ok; I’m planning fun things for when I come home :)

I gave away another iPod. I have come to the conclusion that I probably won’t own an iPod for more than a month. So, God had been telling me for a couple weeks to give my iPod to a fellow student. And I told Him no, that I didn’t want to give it away. Over those couple of weeks He kept bringing it up and I kept saying no. Well, on Tuesday, NS came over and said that God had been telling her for a couple weeks to give me her iPod. And then God said, “Give your iPod to ZI.” And I thought, “hm, this iPod I’ve just been given is technically MY iPod.” So I gave that one to ZI, thinking I’d outsmarted God. Ha, outsmart God, yeah right. The speaker that day talked about the Holy Spirit and how if you’re not hearing Him it’s because you probably haven’t done what He previously told you to do. I think God was laughing at this point because He knew that I hadn’t outsmarted Him. After lecture I went back up to ZI and said that she could have my iPod touch if she wanted. Her face immediately light up. She told me that she had been dreaming about an iPod touch. Her smile was all I needed to know that I did the right thing. God is a funny guy sometimes.

Our last two lecture weeks in Herrnhut are being spent with David Gava. Leading up to these weeks everyone was telling me- just wait, wait until you have David, he’s going to blow your mind. And yes, they were right. This week we have talked about The Holy Spirit and Spiritual warfare. I haven’t had a lot of teaching on these two things so I was excited to hear more about them. The Holy Spirit… it’s so hard to put description to Him. If you read the above paragraph you know that he MIGHT tell you to give away iPods. And He’ll keep telling you to give away iPods if you don’t listen to Him. The Holy Spirit moves in amazing ways! And spiritual warfare! There are SO many way the enemy can get into your life. And this breaks my heart (I’m sorry LVW!!!) but I don’t know how many scary movies I’ll be watching when I get home. I didn’t realize the hold that they had on my life. I think they ok to a certain extent. But they cross that line when you can’t get the image of a demon out of your head. That’s not good stuff. You really have to be aware of what you’re watching and reading because it will attach to your spirit. Ah, such a good week.

These last two weeks will be filled with preparation for outreach. My team and I are leaving probably the 5^th or 6^th of December. I will let everyone know the specific date. Prayers would be appreciated as we still need money and as we finalize our plans. Cool, thanks :)

Missing and loving you all.

My God Provides.

**Sorry for the length of this post- there is just so much good stuff. Please read to the end, I promise, you won’t be upset that you did :) **

And here we are at week 6. It is crazy to me how fast time goes. KV, you were right, these are going to be the fastest 7 months of my life. I already don’t want to leave this place. This community is the best. I probably talk about that a lot but I can’t help it, it’s so freaking wonderful.

I absolutely love number 7. I am blessed with some of the best roommates ever. I live in the middle of number 7 and it couldn’t be more perfect for me. I have been blessed with a WONDERFUL roommate- and only one! It has been such a blessing to be able to get to know her more and have honest hour with someone again. (TM- makes me miss you a lot!) The rest of the girls that are in number 7 are just wonderful. I love each and everyone. I know that I can go to anyone of them and they will be there for me and pray for me. That is such an encouragement.

And the staff- oh man, I am so happy that I have been getting to know them more. We have some amazing people here to encourage and support us through our walk. I’m so glad to know each of them. I spent this past Saturday with KH. It was great to get out of the apartment and spend the morning like I would back home. We had coffee and took a walk around Herrnhut. It was refreshing to relax and not feel like I had to be somewhere in 5 minutes, like I frequently do.

That night we had a love feast- SO GOOD. I think everyone should have a love feast every day. Love feasts were started in YWAM to come together and talk about God’s blessings and be thankful for all that we have. Everyone got dressed up, we had AMAZING food, and celebrated God. It was the perfect way to spend a Saturday.

Sunday was a little stressful (at first). We have a portrait project for photography that I shot that day. It was nerve wracking just because I HATE taking pictures of people and because we had to use a VERY expensive lighting system. But I didn’t need to be nervous because it went so well! I had the pleasure of shooting a mobile DTS student, Hannah. Yup, she has the same name, first and middle, as me! She is such a gem. I loved hanging out with her, she was so easy to get along with and shoot.

AND THEN I got to see my parents!! And KN and her children. Oh my heart, I was so happy. It was exactly what I needed at that time. I talked with my parents once since I left and it was a horrible connection. I am so so happy that I got to talk with them. And then the kids! Oh my goodness I have missed their little voices so much. AJ looked adorable in her skinny jeans- she needs to learn my name though ;) And CJ! He is already so much bigger. It kills me that I’m not able to be there, to watch him play soccer and hear all about school. (I expect pictures!!) But it’s ok, because I’ll see him soon enough! It was good to talk to my BFF/second mom too. I have missed getting coffee and hanging out with her and the kids. I’m glad that we got to catch up and talk for a little, even though it’s not like our usual hang outs :) (I miss lifetime movies!!)

And so the official week begins. Our teacher this week is Dan Bouman. He has some AMAZING stories and he’s hilarious- the perfect combination! He spent 9 weeks in prison in Iran and still he can laugh at it. It’s amazing how much God has worked through him. He has told us so many stories of how God provides, it’s such an encouragement. Wednesday we talked about passion and what it looks like to be passionate for God. Passion is all consuming, suffering, unstoppable, and contagious. That’s just one thought that resonated with me. All of it was so amazing. God has the perfect way of saying just what I need to hear.

On a side note- Tuesday I fell down the stairs. Yup, I still fall even though I’m in Germany. My tailbone is sufficiently bruised. Oh and I rolled my foot last week and I think it’s sprained. Sweet, I love my life. hahaha

Wednesday night we had our first critique night. All the students had to hang up photos, read their stories, display their art, or play a song. It was amazing to see how much talent our school has. I seriously love being around so many artists. It is such a testament to God. He created each and every person here with such beautiful talents, and everyone is unique in their talents. SO COOL.

God is continually showing me that this is where I am supposed to be. I am so happy where I am. (Mom you can stop worrying :) ) I know that if I had stayed at CC, I wouldn’t have been happy. It would have probably been horrible; I would have been horrible to everyone. I am sorry to all those that I have hurt over the years with my words and actions, from the bottom of my heart, I am sorry. I never meant to hurt you. I know now that my actions were not what was right or good. I know that I could have avoided many fights and hurt words if I had watched what I said. Again and forever, I am sorry.

And I need to say another sorry to my friends and family back home (aka everyone reading this); I am sorry that I have sucked at staying in contact. Please know that it’s nothing against you personally, I really haven’t talked to anyone since I left. I am working so hard on my relationship with God right now that it’s hard to keep in contact with those that are miles away, let alone right next door (not to mention the internet SUCKS). I have not forgotten anyone; I will never forget you all. I promise to work harder at keeping in contact, promise!

Please let me know if there is anything that I can pray for. I am trying really had to be a better intercessor. Prayer is something I have always struggled with so I figured the best way to fix that is to do it more! Feel free to email me with any requests you have! My email is hannahjo4@gmail.com. I would love to pray for anything, whether it is big or small, let me know :)

**Disclaimer. I wrote the above a week ago. And then failed to put on my blog. So here starts week 7!**

The end of last week was good. Dan was amazing until the very last minute. I was so blessed to hear of how he was encouraged in every aspect of his life. Friday was KC’s birthday! It was so great to be able to spend part of the day with her. She is such a blessing to me; I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for her :) Saturday we spent the day in Bautzen with the photography track. Our assignment was to take pictures of people we didn’t know. PERFECT, exactly how I wanted to spend my Saturday (Sarcastic). But it turned out to be a great day. I spent it with JM and CS. Those two are so great. I love spending time with them. I met a man on the street named Erwin. He is a street artist in Bautzen. He was so nice and thankfully spoke a little English. That day in general was awesome. We got away from Herrnhut and were able to experience Germany in its finest.

Sunday I didn’t do anything. Of course. :) It was a good day to just chill and not worry about things to do and people to see. Monday was an art day. AKA nap time for Hannah. I was so tired, EB and I went back to the apartment, had a wonderful chat, and slept. It was good. I honestly can’t remember what I did that night- must not have been too important :)

AND Tuesday. Wow. So the day started out as a normal day, as extraordinary days often do, and quickly became amazing. We had a time for generosity. That is a huge theme of this school. Our school leaders are really trying to instill a sense of generosity within us. And I have taken them up on that challenge. So we had a time to pray and be silent and people started getting up and giving each other possessions, money, or words from God. I heard God tell me to give away my iPod. Mind you, I have only had this iPod for a week and it’s brand new. I told God no, that I didn’t want to give it up and kept praying. God asked me if I was ready to give everything away for Him. And I came to a point where, yes, I would give it all for Him. If He gave me someone specific, I would give away my prized possessions: my iPod, computer, and camera. And then I went on praying. A little while later I heard God say, “Give your iPod to Alisa, give it to her. You know where the reset button (on the iPod) is, give it to Alisa.” And I was like, crap, ok I guess. So I got up, tears in my eyes, walked over to my backpack and got my iPod. Walking over to Alisa, I reset the iPod and immediately started crying when it handed it to her. She said no, I can’t. And I said yes, you have to, it’s brand new and I just reset it, take it. We hugged, I cried, and I sat back down.

After I sat down I felt good. I realized that this iPod was a huge distraction in my life. It was taking me away from good conversation with God. And then another iPod fell into my lap, literally. JW graciously gave me her iPod touch because she felt like God told her to. Wow. He works in crazy ways people! Her story is amazing, if you want to hear it, let me know and I will tell you but for length’s sake, I won’t write it :) The whole day was amazing. It was so great to hear all the stories from everyone. I love generosity; it does crazy things to people (in a good way). God does crazy things. I am realizing His role in my life more and more each day. He is present in everything I do and I love that. He provides in amazing ways and surprises me in even more ways. I love hearing His voice and his plan for my life. I don't know what I’m going to do after DTS (I will be coming home, promise) and that is ok.

OUTREACH UPDATE:

Tuesday we found out our possible outreach locations!! YES. We have been waiting patiently for weeks to find out where we might go- and Tuesday was the day! Our DTS is doing outreach a little different. Usually there are multiple locations presented, specific places, and then the students have usually an hour to pray about it and come back with a choice. But not ours! We have two outreach “locations” to choose (or rather give a preference for) from: Southeast Asia or southeast Europe. Yup, we don’t know exactly where in these two regions we will go; we’re leaning on God for that. It’s crazy to think of spending 10 weeks in one of these locations- I can’t wait to see where God leads me. And here’s where you readers come in: I am not sure where I should go. I put down one region (I’m not going to tell you which) that I would like to go, but I have a heart for both. Well, I’m open to both. I’m trying to lean on God and put my trust on Him. If you could all pray about this for me, that would be great.

And if you really, really, REALLY want to know what region I put down you can message me :)

Love from Germany,

Hannah

Prayer request time! (I’m adding this to all my posts. I need more prayer in my life.)

-The burden on my school loans is on my shoulders. When I went to Calvin, I racked up some serious loans. Realizing that I might lead a life of a missionary, those loans keep popping up in my mind. I don’t want to have this hold me back in any way. If you could pray that this burden is lifted from me- that would be great. I know that God will provide, but it’s still a big worry. And I’m a worrier, so it’s hard for me to let go of that.

-I have been praying for a new computer for a bit now and I would appreciate prayers for that too. I know that it seems silly but I know that if I’m going to really put my all into my art, I need to get the right equipment to do that. And my computer is lame. Half of the time it doesn’t connect to the internet and the other half of the time it doesn’t read my photos. SO, it would be super to have a new (or used) computer. God works in crazy ways people :)

Community.

Hello Blog world!
Well, here I find myself at week four. I can’t believe it. It’s almost been a month since I’ve been here. And so much has changed.

Before I got here, I didn’t fully believe in God’s love, his love for me. Today, I can say with so much joy and happiness, that God loves me. I fully believe that he loves me and cares for me more than anyone ever has. I seriously smile every time I think of that. I had always let my past control me as well. It was something that I always let hold me back. That isn’t the case anymore. I am completely free from my past. I’m not saying that I won’t struggle with it anymore but it no longer holds me back from moving forward. There is a lot that I will have to deal with, but I don’t have to deal with it alone. God is always walking with me; he will catch me when I fall. Ahhh I love that!

This week we have the privilege of having Donna Jordan with us. She is amazing; hands down my favorite so far. She is from Canada and says eh a lot. I love it! She is speaking to us about hearing God’s voice. This is also something that I have struggled with. I could never distinguish his voice from my own or the enemies- I think that will always be a struggle, trying to hear his voice and plan for me rather than hearing my wants. God will show me his plan, it will not be on my time but his and it will be in his voice. Yesterday, I felt like I heard some of what he has planned for me. And that makes me so excited! I want God to confirm it though, I’ve asked for signs that this is his voice, and not just what I want to hear in my life. I just need to keep reminding myself that it is all in his time, everything is in his time not mine.

I am ready to hear what God has planned for my life. And I am ready to go where he sends me.

Yesterday was an amazing day of community. I had the best talk with JW, she is amazing and a wonderful strong hold and confidence in my life. We talked about the past, present, and future. It's such a blessing to have someone here I can confide in. Then last night we had apartment worship and prayer. A couple of the girls here (myself included) have had some horrible dreams and trouble sleeping. We prayed against any spiritual warfare that is plaguing our apartment. We then decided to sing and pray for each other. And it was so worth staying up past my bedtime (yes, I go to bed at 10. I am a grandma), we strengthened our community.

I have never been in a place where I am fully surrounded by God. Every aspect of my day is filled with God and his love and his voice. He provides in the craziest ways. I am also surrounded by a community of believers that love me, that want the highest best for me. I love my apartment; it is filled with an amazing community of beautiful women of God. I can't wait to see what God does through each one of them.

God is going to do great things today, I can't wait to encounter him!

Faithful Provider.

That is what God is. He is continually showing himself to me in that way and I love it. Today we started our day with prayer as we do every Thursday. We usually pray for something specific and today we prayed for the Justice DTS teams. The Justice DTS has been in Herrnhut for about 2 months, focusing on injustices and such like that. They are currently finishing up their plans for outreach. One team is leaving this Saturday to go to Kenya and work with the Somalian refugees. We stared out praying for the individual teams and finances were a big part of each team’s prayer requests.

KT then told us we would have a time of quiet reflection and then a time of giving. We were urged to listen for God’s voice and discern if he wanted us to give at all. They had written down all the names of the students who still needed support and how much they needed. Some students still needed to pay for their lecture fees as well. So we all prayed and people started to give. And give, and give, and give some more. There were 16 names on the board, close to 20,000 Euros that were needed to cover everyone’s fees. God provided the full amounts for every student and then some.

Wow. In just an hour God provided these three teams with the full amount of money needed. They are going to bless so many people in Cambodia, Kenya, and Nepal. I am so excited to see the things that God does through them.

This morning was such a great time for me, probably the best way to start my day. It was such a great feeling of love and blessing in that room. So many people were moved to give; it was such a beautiful testament to how faithful God is.

Faith Walk.

This past Wednesday the staff here at Herrnhut sent everyone out on a faith walk. We were put into groups of 4 or 5 (one German in each group) and given 1 euro each. They told us we could go anywhere in Germany or even outside Germany but we were not to stay in Herrnhut.

What a way to start off a Wednesday. So, I freaked out, of course. I was so terrified. I have no idea why, probably because I was scared to sleep outside somewhere not in Herrnhut. And I cried. Yes, I will admit to being the one person to cry. I was that scared. But, after talking with LH and the girls in my group I decided to go. I didn't have peace about staying, I knew I would miss out, so I went.

We packed any warm clothes we had, a sleeping bag, and our cameras. And we stated walking. My group and I decided to go outside of Germany because we all had our passports. We ended up getting a ride from Herrnhut to Zittau. That was our first blessing. If we had not hitchhiked there, we would have been walking for three and a half hours. In Zittau, BN and TM played on the streets for a while, trying to get money. We didn't get much and decided to keep walking so we could get into the Czech Republic before nightfall. From Zittau we walked through Poland into the Czech Republic, ending up in Hradek for the night. By the time we got there everything was closed except for the restaurants and some bars. We walked for an hour trying to find food and place to sleep. By this time it was getting darker and colder and we just wanted to sleep.

In our last ditch effort, we stopped at Camelot, a restaurant in Hradek that was still open. God then provided the best meal I've had since I got to Germany. The woman that was working there called her boss and told us that she had a soup that we could have. We sat down and she brought over sparkling orange juice and a basket FULL of bread. We were all blow away by how generous she was being. Later she brought out the soup and it was fantastic. By the time we were all finished, we were happy and full.

And then we walked outside and realized, we don’t have anywhere to sleep. That night we ended up sleeping in a playground. It was so cold. TP, JC, and I all snuggled together under our sleeping bags and it still wasn't warm enough. I personally was terrified that the police were going to come and take us to jail. (Overreaction, I know) But thankfully they didn't and that morning we woke up and started walking.

We decided not to stay in Hradek and to keep walking. The guys wanted to walk to Liberec but by this time I had the worst blisters ever that I couldn't walk any longer. We stopped by the side of the road to try to get a ride and rest for a bit. TM went off to try to find a ride. After a bit he came back and told us we had a place to stay. IN A CASTLE. No joke, it was a legit castle. It was absolutely beautiful. We were all smiling so big and so thankful that we didn't have to sleep outside. The family that works and stays at the castle said that we could stay there if we wanted to help them out with some work. He even took TP and I to the market to buy food for the two days we were staying there.

God provides in the most unsuspecting ways. He didn't need to provide a castle for us; He could have had us sleep outside. But instead, He provided us with this beautiful place to stay, some amazing food, and some wonderful people to minister to. I keep looking back at our time in the Czech Republic and I’m pretty sure it was a dream. I cannot explain how much this trip restored my faith in God. He provided so much more than any of us needed.

Week two-ish.

Well, hopefully I will be able to keep up on this blog more now that I feel like I have a schedule. We will have a lot of free time in the afternoon which is great and lame at the same time. Great because I have more time to write and take pictures but bad because if I don’t have anything to do I will just sit around or go to Penny and eat. I’m hoping I can find more stuff to do around here.

So we had our first normal weekend in Herrnhut and we all did our own thing. Saturday I sort of slept in. Around 10:45 a group of us went on a photo adventure. There is an abandoned ware house 15 minutes away from town and it was beautiful. I love that God can create something so beautiful out of something so broken. It was so good to walk around and explore. I spent an hour and half there and then walked back to town to just hang out. I cleaned the room, organized a little bit, and did my laundry. It was such a great feeling to have my laundry done- my refugee camp clothes did not smell too great :) The rest of the day I spent at the apartment and I watched Harry Potter (thank goodness BH loves HP as much as I do!)

Sunday I woke up and hung out with Joyce in the room and listened to a podcast from Mars Hill. I’m glad they have them available even though it makes me miss home. I then walked to the castle and waited patiently for my mom to get on Skype ;) FINALLY she did and even though the connection sucked, it was great to talk to her. I’m hopefully going to get internet at home soon so I can Skype in the comforts of my own room. Here’s to hoping! After skyping I had dinner and walked back home because I was feeling sick. A lot of people at the castle and the apartment are sick. Makes me miss my mom, even though she never made me soup when I was sick ;)

And then starts week two. I can’t believe I’ve only been here for a week, it seems like it’s been forever since I’ve got here. For lecture today we listened to a story from one of our school leaders and a past student. They spoke about their DTS outreach experience in Ethiopia. They and their team went to Ethiopia to help a native tribe leader and his tribe. They practiced an age old custom concerning a ‘witch craft’ practice called mingee. When a child has mingee they are killed. There are three ways a child can have mingee: they were born out of wedlock, their parents didn’t tell the tribe they were trying to have a child and then conceived, and when a toddler’s teeth came in the bottom first, not the top. They then would either throw the baby in the river for the alligators to eat, lock them in a hut until they died, or (in the case of toddlers) tied them to a tree for a wild animal to eat. Wow, what a way to start out a story. My heart immediately broke for the children and their parents. I couldn’t imagine standing by as tribe leaders left kids out in the wild to be eaten. KT told us that more than 300 children were killed in a year. Is your heart broken yet? Because mine crumbled when she said that.

Her and her team then felt the Lord telling them that they needed to go and help this tribe because a child was going to die in the next two days. Long story short, they saved this child from being killed. Along with a total of 5 children just that trip. They also set up an orphanage while they were there for the children rescued from this horrifying practice. In three years 25 children have been saved. Even more wonderful is that the hearts of the tribe have started to change. They are starting to realize that maybe this practice isn’t the best. Unfortunately, a church from California came in for a mission trip and ended up taking over the orphanage the YWAM team started. A lot of things can be accomplished when you have money. The church ended up leaving the orphanage and since then KT and a couple of people from that original team have been trying to re-establish that trust they had.

These stories make me want to go out and do great things. I guess that's what is supposed to happen, right?

Week one.

Well, I’ve been here for almost a week and it seems like it’s been months! I’ll just start from the beginning.

I flew out of Grand Rapids on Thursday and the flights went ok. We were delayed in Chicago and had to rush to get boarding tickets in Munich and made it 6 minutes before the plane was boarding. I was so glad KC was with me. She has been such a blessing this whole trip. So we got to Dresden and then had to take a train to Lobau. We met up with BN and KL which was SO good. We all had no idea where we were going and got lost. Yup, one day in Germany (not even) and this girl was lost. BUT good news, I made it. We arrived in Herrnhut around 3ish. We went to the castle and met some of the staff and found out where we were going to live. KC, KL, and I are all in the apartments, even though I’m on another floor. I’m in a room with only one other girl which I thought would annoy me but now I’m really happy for it. I was alone the first night which was kind of overwhelming. I had just traveled for almost 24 hours, I was out of my element, and all alone (JC wasn’t there yet). Looking back I know that is a God send. I needed time to myself to relax and just breathe for a second.

And that was good considering what was ahead of me. I had read blogs from the past MOTA and had seen that they slept in boxes the first official night of DTS. So, when they told us to pack warm clothes I had expected the same thing. I’ll get to that later. So we had a welcome bbq (Peg, here’s the menu: Chicken, pasta, and potatoes. Nothing too exciting :) ) And then we had a welcome ceremony where they presented all the staff and all the tracks. It was cool to see what we would be doing in the next coming months. OH and I met my roommate. She’s wonderful; crazy, but still so wonderful :)

Here is where the warm clothes come in. We found out that we would be building a refugee camp. There has been a lot of unrest and Somalia and all the citizens are moving to Kenya. There are more than 400,000 thousand people living in one refugee camp in Kenya. We were provided 2 posts, a couple of sticks, and a tarp to build our selves and tent for the night. Thank goodness JW was in my tent, it was nice to have someone that I knew with me. We decided to nix the idea on building a tent and just wrap ourselves in the tarp. And that was good. We were warm with all our layers and the tarp; until we woke up during the night. It was FREEZING. Oh my goodness it was so cold. I didn’t sleep well at all that night but finally the sun came up.

The rest of the morning we didn’t really know what was going. That afternoon we all gathered together and were told we were going for a walk. Great, its 100 degrees out and we’re going for a walk. SUPER. I had a horrible attitude about it but looking back I had nothing to complain about. We were walking to experience what it is like to walk to get the water you need. I can’t imagine walking in weather that is much hotter than it was, without shoes, and with no idea if there is even water there. God has been showing me how much I truly have. It’s been such a blessing to be able to experience a “refugee camp”. So we continued on with the simulation and had to share a food bowl which was fine; the no utensil thing, not the greatest. It’s hard to eat past and salad without a fork. But again, we have so much to be thankful for. We had an opportunity to discuss our thoughts about the refugees and that was a good time to think and pray for those that are actually going through the things we are but to an whole other extent. Earlier that day we had a chance to rebuild out tent so that night we went home to a much better equipped tent. But that didn’t matter considering it started storming half way through the night. I woke up around who knows when to our tent thrashing in the wind. It was lightening like crazy!! It was around 4 in the morning when they let us come inside. I think everyone was pretty thankful for that.

Monday was filled with orientation and rules and such. We found out that night that we were going to stop the simulation because rain was predicted the rest of the week. Honestly, I was a little sad. DH told us everything that was going to happen and I think that it would have been a great learning experience to encounter all the challenges that he had planned. I was mentally prepared to face another night of rain. I was ready. But I can understand where they were coming from. They didn’t want to endanger our health or mental well being. So, some girls that live in the apartment and I walked pack to our home. In the dark. And the rain. And the mud. I was so dirty and tired that I just wanted to go home. Oh, I forgot to mention that this whole time we didn’t have showers. Yup, I didn’t shower from Thursday to Monday night.

I know this is a long post but just hang in there; it’s worth it I promise. J

So Tuesday we walked back up to the castle for our first days of lecture. We started the day with a time for prayer. Every Tuesday and Thursday we will have a half an hour or an hour (I can’t remember) to pray. We prayed for the refugees. We got into groups of three and had to pray out loud. I don’t really like praying out loud but when the time came it wasn't bad at all. I’m really learning how important it is to talk with God on a regular basis. After prayer we had fruit break- my favorite part of the day! And then we started lecture. Our speaker this week is Mike, he and his wife have been involved with YWAM for 31 years. They have such a great story, I loved hearing about all the things he has done. He then spoke about the father heart of God. He made so many points where I was like, yup, that applies to me. One thing that stood out to be that our God is a faithful God. He will never leave us. He knows we are guilty yet He stands by our side. I can’t wait to hear him speak again.

The rest of the day was pretty free- which was unusual. We just had out work duties (I’m working with hospitality- cleaning up the guest rooms and such) and then we had the rest of the day free. I hung out in the café for a bit with some of my friends which was great just to be able to hang out. Then I went back to the apartment and watched a movie and spent some time by myself. AND that concludes my first (almost) week.

I will write more when I have the chance!

PS Peg if you’re reading this: I haven’t had the opportunity to eat authentic German food. We pretty much have sandwiches for breakfast, cereal in the morning, and potatoes at night. I know, super exciting J

Oh hey there Germany.

Well everyone, I leave tomorrow! In less than 24 hours I will begin my journey to Germany. I am so thankful for everyone's prayers and encouragment! I would love to keep in contact so here is my information. I am going to have little internet access so I promise to keep in contact when I can!

Hannah Stob

JMEM / DTS

Untere Dorfstr. 56

Ruppersdorf, Germany 02747

Skype: hannah.stob

Email: hannahjo4@gmail.com

I can't believe I have come this far. I can't wait to experience all that God has planned for me. I am all packed and ready to go.